A Growing Kind of Birthday
I shouldn't hate birthdays as much as I do. And it's not for the reasons most women quintessentially hate birthdays. It's not about getting older or the passage of time. It is really all about expectations. Call me crazy, but I just want the day to be special. I have had trouble defining what I want to be "special," but the more I ponder it, the more it comes down to being known.
I want to be known and celebrated. I don't want to choose the restaurant, I want someone to suggest the one they know I'll love. I don't want to have to ask to not cook, I want it to be offered. I don't want to do things out of obligation, I want to have a day of joy. I don't want to ask for a gift and be given that exact thing, I want to be known enough to have inspired gift-giving. I don't want to have to ask for everything, I want it to be offered, as a gift, because I am known. That is the gift!
No wonder I often feel disappointed.
Quite accidentally a solution presented itself on my big 4-0 birthday. We ended up winning tickets to a kid's event the weekend of my birthday. We were occupied most of the day and weekend with the event and travel. One portion of the day was reserved for me. And, do you know what? It was perfect. Making the day (mostly) about someone else made the day so much more enjoyable. "Serve one another in love" is not a new lesson, but it took me until 40 to recognize my need for it on my birthday.
So this year we mixed it up a bit. We started the day serving others! We spent the morning taking gifts and treats to some of the people we appreciate most. Sun flowers to our CPS case worker, coffee and donuts to another office, and flowers to some of our favorite people.
The kids were tired and grumpy and hot by the end, but we were happy. I was happy.
As it turns out, it ended up being a birthday about growing in many ways. Spiritual and emotional maturity, yes. But along the way these visual reminders came to me also.
A friend gifted me with this awesome purse.
If you look closely, you will see the nature theme. And birds! Love the birds.
And to round out the day, my sweet husband brought me these beautiful orchids. The tag assures me they are easy to grow and easy to make re-bloom. They are in my bathroom enjoying the humidity for now.
I want to be known and celebrated. I don't want to choose the restaurant, I want someone to suggest the one they know I'll love. I don't want to have to ask to not cook, I want it to be offered. I don't want to do things out of obligation, I want to have a day of joy. I don't want to ask for a gift and be given that exact thing, I want to be known enough to have inspired gift-giving. I don't want to have to ask for everything, I want it to be offered, as a gift, because I am known. That is the gift!
No wonder I often feel disappointed.
Quite accidentally a solution presented itself on my big 4-0 birthday. We ended up winning tickets to a kid's event the weekend of my birthday. We were occupied most of the day and weekend with the event and travel. One portion of the day was reserved for me. And, do you know what? It was perfect. Making the day (mostly) about someone else made the day so much more enjoyable. "Serve one another in love" is not a new lesson, but it took me until 40 to recognize my need for it on my birthday.
So this year we mixed it up a bit. We started the day serving others! We spent the morning taking gifts and treats to some of the people we appreciate most. Sun flowers to our CPS case worker, coffee and donuts to another office, and flowers to some of our favorite people.
The kids were tired and grumpy and hot by the end, but we were happy. I was happy.
As it turns out, it ended up being a birthday about growing in many ways. Spiritual and emotional maturity, yes. But along the way these visual reminders came to me also.
While choosing a potted plant for our special deliveries each boy also chose a potted plant for me. We added them to the yard later in the week and they provided the perfect little splashes of color.
And when my sister brought lunch to celebrate. She also brought these beautiful (and very trendy!) succulents. I feel so hip!
A friend gifted me with this awesome purse.
If you look closely, you will see the nature theme. And birds! Love the birds.
And to round out the day, my sweet husband brought me these beautiful orchids. The tag assures me they are easy to grow and easy to make re-bloom. They are in my bathroom enjoying the humidity for now.
There were some clothes and books and other fun things, but sometimes God speaks in themes! It's easy to see the themes run through the Bible or in good fiction or sometimes in the lives of others. Seeing and appreciating the themes in my own life is an uncommon gift to these eyes that, for now, see dimly!
Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
Philippians 2:1-4
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