Fostering
In a long line of small events and steps over the past year or so, we have now entered the world of foster care. In the spring we were licensed and shortly thereafter, we had our first placement. She arrived with a grocery bag of clothes and a sheet of paper with her basic information. She was with us for several weeks and then was placed with friends of her family.
After a bit of a break, we now have another little girl. She arrived with the clothes she was wearing, a stuffed animal and the all-important, but virtually useless, piece of paper. She is a walker and a climber and a giggler. She doesn't have nearly enough language to express her year-and-a-half-old self. She has adorable curls and big eyes. She has a very different story than our first Little Miss and she will probably be with us six months to a year.
Here are several things I've learned or observed from our short stent in this world of foster care.
On a system level:
- The CPS system in chaotic because the population they are facing is chaotic. All the workers I have interacted with, so far, have been professional, helpful, responsive and generally kind.
- The need for Jesus is great. Not just among the families in the system, but also among the case workers, developmental specialists, legal representatives, etc.
Personally:
- What's that saying about stress revealing character, not building it. Well, I am in the trenches now and I am discovering that there are few redeeming qualities in my character. There is much work to do on this front.
- I wondered how quickly I would feel attached. After two placements, I can not say that I have a good answer for this. I very quickly feel protective, responsible, nurturing. I can not fully quantify or qualify my attachment.
- I have thought a lot about the word "babysitting." Is this just glorified babysitting for the state? Is it "just" babysitting, in as much as tending my own kids all day, every day is "just" babysitting? I don't have a good answer for this one either.
My experiences have been very limited. The interactions we've had with both families-of-origin have been generally positive. I have not had a lot of time or mental energy to self-evaluate. There are still so many things I do not know. There are still so many ways I need to grow. There is one thing, however, I feel very strongly about. One thing that I don't think will ever change regardless of the child or the situation. No child will ever leave my home with their possessions in a garbage bag.
She was an itty-bitty thing and needed all the care of a two month old! But she was a good eater and a good sleeper and it didn't take long to enjoy snuggling.
After a bit of a break, we now have another little girl. She arrived with the clothes she was wearing, a stuffed animal and the all-important, but virtually useless, piece of paper. She is a walker and a climber and a giggler. She doesn't have nearly enough language to express her year-and-a-half-old self. She has adorable curls and big eyes. She has a very different story than our first Little Miss and she will probably be with us six months to a year.
Here are several things I've learned or observed from our short stent in this world of foster care.
On a system level:
- The CPS system in chaotic because the population they are facing is chaotic. All the workers I have interacted with, so far, have been professional, helpful, responsive and generally kind.
- The need for Jesus is great. Not just among the families in the system, but also among the case workers, developmental specialists, legal representatives, etc.
Personally:
- What's that saying about stress revealing character, not building it. Well, I am in the trenches now and I am discovering that there are few redeeming qualities in my character. There is much work to do on this front.
- I wondered how quickly I would feel attached. After two placements, I can not say that I have a good answer for this. I very quickly feel protective, responsible, nurturing. I can not fully quantify or qualify my attachment.
- I have thought a lot about the word "babysitting." Is this just glorified babysitting for the state? Is it "just" babysitting, in as much as tending my own kids all day, every day is "just" babysitting? I don't have a good answer for this one either.
My experiences have been very limited. The interactions we've had with both families-of-origin have been generally positive. I have not had a lot of time or mental energy to self-evaluate. There are still so many things I do not know. There are still so many ways I need to grow. There is one thing, however, I feel very strongly about. One thing that I don't think will ever change regardless of the child or the situation. No child will ever leave my home with their possessions in a garbage bag.
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this:
to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
James 1:27 (NIV)
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